Girls Scouts of Many Colors

by Stephanie Sixkiller

a play in one act

GIRL SCOUTS OF MANY COLORS Character List

MAGGIE ALBRIGHT: 16, Female. A typical do-gooder. She knows nothing but how to follow the rules and often takes things way too seriously. She is always in a tiff with Piper, who she’s gone to school with for as long as she can remember. However, she doesn’t actively seek to get rid of Piper.

PIPER DONOVAN: 16, Female. What more could you want from an alternative, sarcastic, angsty teen? She dresses like she has a constant storm cloud looming over her, and she loves playing practical jokes on people to gain attention. Everyone else pushes her away except Maggie.

CUSTOMER: Age and gender neutral. Just an average person that unfortunately gets caught in the crossfire of Maggie and Piper’s antics.

AUDREY SERENA LOUISE URSULA TURNER-TAYMORE: Female. Around the same age as Maggie and Piper. Although she has no dialogue, it’s obvious from her appearance that she’s prissy, stuck up, and always gets her way. This is different from Maggie because she works hard on everything she does, whereas Audrey probably cheated her way to the top.

Synopsis

     Maggie has the whole front entrance of the Country Mart reserved for the day to sell cookies. What she doesn’t know is Piper has been plotting to rain on Maggie’s parade.

(Lights up on a table set up for a girl scout cookie display. There are rows of different types of cookies splayed out very intricately, and there is a sign taped to the table reading “Help Maggie reach her goal!” with a meter drawn next to it, filled almost full. Maggie enters, dressed in a white button down, pleated skirt, knee high socks, keds (or something similar). It would help to have the beret and sash but it isn’t necessary. She is looking around her table, checking to make sure everything is in perfect order. What she doesn’t see is Piper peaking around a curtain upstage, spying on her.)

MAGGIE

(Sighs in frustration) Cash box…

(She exits in a hurry to get her cash box. Piper leans out further from the curtain to make sure she’s gone before she enters fully. She is dressed in all dark colors (looks similar to Wednesday Addams or Lydia Deets) and has a large tote bag slung across her shoulder. She stalks over to Maggie’s table and begins to take boxes of cookies and place them into her bag. Maggie enters holding a cash box. She stops dead in her tracks when she sees Piper.)

MAGGIE

Piper Donavon! What in the world are you doing?!

PIPER

What does it look like?

MAGGIE

It sure looks like you’re stealing my cookies!

PIPER

Yep! I’m starving.

MAGGIE

Well, I sure hope you plan to pay for those cookies.

PIPER

I’m not sure that’s how stealing works…

MAGGIE

Would you mind putting them back, Piper?

PIPER

(Mocking) But then you’ll win the contest… And where’s the fun in that?

MAGGIE

Just because you’re bitter that you got disqualified for lacing your cookies with laxatives doesn’t mean you can ruin my chances at winning the top prize.

PIPER

(Scornfully: Slowly sets the stolen cookies back on the table. They should be blocked so Maggie crosses in front of the table during Piper’s monologue so she has a chance to tamper with Maggie’s cash box.) Oh drats. You’re so right. I’ll never even have a chance to be as great as the perfect Maggie Albright! Ever since kindergarten, I knew you were just miles above me. I would have never come close to selling 500 boxes of precious cookies. What’s the point of even being a girl scout anymore? I don’t serve a purpose as long as I breath the same air as Margaret Albright.

MAGGIE
Are you done? You’re drawing customers away.

PIPER

Yep, all done. Sorry for bothering you.

MAGGIE

Nothing I’m not used to.

PIPER

Toodle-lo!

 (Piper exits with a smirk on her face. Maggie takes a beat to regain her composure before a possible customer enters center stage. Maggie catches them off guard.)

MAGGIE

Hello! Would you be interested in buying some girl scout cookies? It will support troop 863 and help me on my journey to sell 500 boxes of girl scout cookies!

CUSTOMER

Uh, sure.

MAGGIE

Great!

(The customer moves closer to Maggie’s table and pauses for a brief moment to decide. They finally pick up a box and give it to Maggie.)

CUSTOMER

I think I’ll take these.

MAGGIE

Awesome! That’ll be five dollars.

(The customer nods and fishes in their pocket before pulling out a five-dollar bill. They give it to Maggie, who opens her cash box to put the money inside. Piper is seen poking her head back out from a different curtain. Maggie quickly pulls her hand back and shrieks.)

CUSTOMER

Are you ok?

MAGGIE

Fine. Just fine. (Hands over the box of cookies.) Thank you for your service. Have a nice day!

(The customer uncomfortably exits, dovetailed with Piper entering, laughing up a storm.)

PIPER

Oh my—oh my GOD, that—that was priceless!

MAGGIE

(Still shaken up.) Really? Of all things, you just had to put a dead rat in my cash box.

PIPER

If I can’t steal your cookies, it’s the least I could do to support your cause. And it’s fake, so don’t get your panties in a bunch.

MAGGIE

You’re evil.

PIPER

I try.

MAGGIE

Why are you doing this?

PIPER

Well, for one, since I got disqualified, I have a lot of free time. Two, your face alone was completely worth it. Three—

(The customer enters again, crossing their legs and stumbling up to Maggie’s table.)

CUSTOMER

Ok, kid, I want my money back!

MAGGIE

What’s wrong?

CUSTOMER
What’s wrong?! (scoffs) You put something in these cookies! I opened them on the way home and not ten minutes later, I needed to take the longest bathroom break of my life! I didn’t know I needed to buy a porta-potty to eat a box of cookies!

MAGGIE

Oh, I—I’m so sorry!

(Fumbles to open the cash box and jolts before pulling the rat out by the tail and throwing it behind her. Piper should be wheezing by now, as she’s been laughing during this entire exchange. Maggie gives the customer their money back and they exit in a huff.)

MAGGIE

Seriously?

PIPER
(Still laughing) Y-yeah!

MAGGIE

What is wrong with you?! This is worse than the time you threw my cleats over the telephone wire.

PIPER

Chill, would you? Freaking buzzkill.

MAGGIE

(At her wits end) You don’t get it, do you? We’re not kids anymore, Piper. It’s time to grow up. Not everything is going to be fun and games. (pause) Now tell me honestly. Why are you always out to get me? What have I done to you?

PIPER

Maybe I just want a friend…

MAGGIE

What?

PIPER
God, you’re dense. (Sigh) Haven’t you noticed that no one else talks to me? Ever? In scouts, at school, at home, nothing. No one gives me the time of day because I look like the physical embodiment of death. And, yeah, I keep coming back to you because your reactions are the best part of my day. But whether you want to admit it or not, I think you like having me around too.

MAGGIE

(Trying to hide her smile) Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Here I am thinking I’ve been doomed to have a permanent storm cloud follow me for eternity. But maybe there’s a rainbow hidden in there?

PIPER
Wow, that’s how you talk to people? Anyway, I kind of have a rough time communicating, seeing as I try to send messages through fake rats and laxatives.

MAGGIE

Yeah, yeah. I get it.

PIPER

For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. Some of that was too far. (beat) I’ll let you get back to selling your easy bake cookies.

(Audrey crosses through with an empty wagon and giant first place ribbon. She smirks and waves at Maggie and Piper, who are both in shock.)

MAGGIE

I can’t—I can’t believe she won.

PIPER
I can. It’s Audrey Serena Louise Ursula Turner-Taymore. Her mom’s the freakin’ den mother. I just feel bad for the people who bought cookies from her…

MAGGIE

What did you do—Piper!

PIPER

I bought those laxatives in bulk. I had to get rid of ‘em somehow. (Notices Maggie is still somewhat peeved.) You ok?

MAGGIE

You know what? I think I am.

PIPER

That’s surprising.

MAGGIE

If your antics taught me anything, it’s not to take things so seriously.

PIPER
Thanks for the moral, mother goose.

MAGGIE

Just shut up, would you? I’m trying to wrap this up in a nice bow. Now help me pack up, and we can frolic off into the sunset.

PIPER

Holy friendship, Batman!

(Maggie groans obnoxiously, and they begin to take down the table as lights fade.)

CURTAIN

GIRL SCOUTS OF MANY COLORS Property List

• Boxes of Girl Scout Cookies
• Sign for Table
• Cash Box
• Tote Bag
• Fake Rat
• Five Dollar Bill
• Wagon
• Prize Ribbon

GIRL SCOUTS OF MANY COLORS Set Dressing

• Folding Table